“Fix your face!”
“Don’t let him get to you.”
“Are you done being sad now?”
are said more often than:
“Don’t worry about the mascara, beautiful. Let those feelings in. Let’s work through them, together.
“He was important to you and he hurt you, I am so sorry. What you feel is valid and important.”
“Girl, pleaseeeee come over here so I can give you a big hug and let your shoulder rest on mine”
“There is no time limit on healing. You do not have to feel like you are taking too long to heal.”
“Want to walk to the counseling center together? Maybe we could schedule a session at the same time because I could always use a listening ear”
If you struggling right now, please know that it does not make you weak or pathetic. Read that again. Please.
No life is without struggle.
And some struggles affect us so deeply that we feel as if we can no longer function.
And that struggle doesn’t have to be about anything.
Often, it can just be a feeling.
A feeling of sadness that never leaves…
That makes us want to end our time here on Earth, because we feel worthless, a burden, or unimportant.
I am going to say the following words and I hope you believe it because they come from the deepest parts of my heart.
You are a woman of great worth.
You are not a burden, but a privilege to be around.
You are important.
Your presence, in whatever state you’re in (sweatpants, hair tied, tear stained eyes) is enough.
Black women, da mules of the universe, are expected to be so strong that we have pathologized sadness.
You don’t have to act a certain way when you’re around me.